WORK SHENANIGANS

For awhile, I was trying to keep coworkers from knowing that I was on Facebook. I wasn't sure I wanted them to read my oh-so-deep thoughts (usually, they're silly, but sometimes...) or see pictures of me or my family. Not that we would be doing anything inappropriate - but I just wasn't sure I wanted those worlds to collide (any Seinfeld fans out there remember that episode?).

Well, now I have FIVE coworkers who are also my Facebook friends. Yes, I caved. I figured, eh. I'm not a "works-for-the-CIA-and-if-I-told-you-what-I-did-for-a-living-I'd-have-to-kill-you- super-spy-girl" so what could be the harm?

Now I KNOW - I can't tell work stories on FB anymore! Grrrr! That works out great for those of you who read my blog and don't Facebook. You'll get to hear these gems (ha) whereas my FB buddies will be left out in the cold.

Ok. So here's one. We have 3 stalls in the ladies' room at work. For some reason, everyone loves the first one. Not sure why. We just do. So I got done using the first one and walked out to the sink area. Right then, a coworker came in and opened the door to the first stall. See? Everyone's fave. She goes, "Uh oh. We're out of toilet seat protectors. I hope you don't have any BUTT BUGS." Oh. My. Gosh. Have we crossed a line here?? She is a good-natured person and a fellow sales associate (we people in sales ARE a different breed), but still. I was so caught off guard, I kind of stammered a response and then high-tailed it (no pun intended) outta there!

So another one. Why must the Most Annoying Coworker in the World - "MACW" insist on talking to me at 8 in the morning? About stupid things. I have asked her not to talk to me before 9:30 but she just laughs. This morning, she told me all about how she loves plants and she's such a plant person and "I feel so much better now that I got 2 plants last night one was a [such and such-can't remember] palm and one was a [blahbity blah don't know what she said] and I'm just so glad because in my last apartment, I never got any sunlight but now they can just drink it in and oh did i tell you - i talk to my plants and it makes a difference people say it doesn't but i know it does people think i have a green thumb but i just tell them no i don't - i just talk to my plants they love it and they thrive because of it if you don't talk to your plants they........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ARGH!

Seriously.

Then, I'm not very nice, so when she was done with her soliloquy, I go, "I hate plants" which is true, but still. I probably could have withheld that statement. It probably would have been more polite. But I didn't care. I had already listened to her drone on about angels and how to tell if one is real. Yes, you read that right. See, REAL angels won't touch you. So. If you're approached by an angel, you simply say, "Angel, shake my hand." If the angel extends its hand, you run. That's not a real angel.

Sounds like a Deep Thought to me.

Thank you for letting me vent. Safely. (deep breath in)