Tuesday, August 26, 2008
YES, I'M ALIVE
I haven't blogged in awhile because they just put out a new policy at work that we can't update our blogs at work. We can't do anything blog-related, like leave comments or view them. But I'm bucking the system right now just to let y'all know I'm doing ok. Just ok. I've always considered myself an honest person, especially where feelings are concerned. People say they want honesty, but oftentimes, they don't. They just want to hear that everything is awesome. Well, for me, it's not. It's very difficult to be off my anti-depressants. I have more sad days than glad. I am out of control of my body and my emotions. I have many, many fears about having a baby and sustaining him/her financially. Yes, I wanted this. I can be happy that I'm expecting, and yet still be worried. I try to "give my burdens to the Lord" but it's not always that easy. It's just a hard time right now. Not bad - just hard. Have you been there before? I imagine you have because I think it's part of life, these ups and downs. Through it all, God is God and He will not leave me. That is the basis for my getting up everyday.