Thursday, March 3, 2011


For awhile, I was trying to keep coworkers from knowing that I was on Facebook. I wasn't sure I wanted them to read my oh-so-deep thoughts (usually, they're silly, but sometimes...) or see pictures of me or my family. Not that we would be doing anything inappropriate - but I just wasn't sure I wanted those worlds to collide (any Seinfeld fans out there remember that episode?).

Well, now I have FIVE coworkers who are also my Facebook friends. Yes, I caved. I figured, eh. I'm not a "works-for-the-CIA-and-if-I-told-you-what-I-did-for-a-living-I'd-have-to-kill-you- super-spy-girl" so what could be the harm?

Now I KNOW - I can't tell work stories on FB anymore! Grrrr! That works out great for those of you who read my blog and don't Facebook. You'll get to hear these gems (ha) whereas my FB buddies will be left out in the cold.

Ok. So here's one. We have 3 stalls in the ladies' room at work. For some reason, everyone loves the first one. Not sure why. We just do. So I got done using the first one and walked out to the sink area. Right then, a coworker came in and opened the door to the first stall. See? Everyone's fave. She goes, "Uh oh. We're out of toilet seat protectors. I hope you don't have any BUTT BUGS." Oh. My. Gosh. Have we crossed a line here?? She is a good-natured person and a fellow sales associate (we people in sales ARE a different breed), but still. I was so caught off guard, I kind of stammered a response and then high-tailed it (no pun intended) outta there!

So another one. Why must the Most Annoying Coworker in the World - "MACW" insist on talking to me at 8 in the morning? About stupid things. I have asked her not to talk to me before 9:30 but she just laughs. This morning, she told me all about how she loves plants and she's such a plant person and "I feel so much better now that I got 2 plants last night one was a [such and such-can't remember] palm and one was a [blahbity blah don't know what she said] and I'm just so glad because in my last apartment, I never got any sunlight but now they can just drink it in and oh did i tell you - i talk to my plants and it makes a difference people say it doesn't but i know it does people think i have a green thumb but i just tell them no i don't - i just talk to my plants they love it and they thrive because of it if you don't talk to your plants they........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ARGH!


Then, I'm not very nice, so when she was done with her soliloquy, I go, "I hate plants" which is true, but still. I probably could have withheld that statement. It probably would have been more polite. But I didn't care. I had already listened to her drone on about angels and how to tell if one is real. Yes, you read that right. See, REAL angels won't touch you. So. If you're approached by an angel, you simply say, "Angel, shake my hand." If the angel extends its hand, you run. That's not a real angel.

Sounds like a Deep Thought to me.

Thank you for letting me vent. Safely. (deep breath in)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I'm soooo glad you can delete what you post on other people's walls on Facebook!

When I was in middle and high school, there were 3 main guys. The most popular guys. And they weren't just popular in our grade - EVERYBODY loved them. Josh, Ryan, and Rob. They were friends. And they were hot. (Looking back, they were NOT hot, but we had very few choices in Ronan. And, I might add, I'm almost POSITIVE that Josh SURELY regrets his decision to get his senior picture taken with denim shortalls, no shirt, and one strap undone. But that's another story.)

Anyway, I am Facebook friends with these three guys and even though high school was 20 years ago, I still feel a little nervous when I think about Facebooking any of them. So I usually don't.

But today is Rob's birthday. He "friended" me a few months ago. He's said some nice things about my family photos. I figured, ok, no need to be nervous here. It's just Rob. Rob. It's fine. He's bald, has been married 2 times, and has 6 kids. It's no big deal. I'll wish him a happy birthday on his wall. No. Big. Deal.

So I hurriedly typed a message.

I tried to be quippy and different from the boring happy-birthday-and-that's-it messages. I liked what I came up with. I just said, "Happy Birthday, Rob. Hope it's a good one. 39 FOREVER!" There. Done. Ahhh. I've evolved. I sent the message with no nerves. Lassiez fare. IIIII'M BREEZY!

Over the next 2 hours, I received email notifications that others had written birthday greetings to Rob. I measured them against mine.
"Happy Birthday, dude." Uh. Yeah. Tooooo 1995.
"God bless you on your birthday." Only on your birthday? Too judgy.
"happy birthday" Really? Not even in caps?? Booooor-ring.

Contented sigh.

Then it hit me. We are not 40. We are not 39. Rob is turning THIRTY SEVEN today!!!

Oh, brother. I deleted the post and I will NOT replace it. I haven't evolved enough.

Friday, February 4, 2011


Not. Muslim. Okay?

I Love Bloggin

He's a Christian.

These were all titles I considered for this blog entry. The first one seemed a little too negative. The second one seemed a little too "I'm-a-truck-driver-usin-a-CB". The third one doesn't encapsulate it well enough. So here. Just read on.

By Perry Bacon Jr. and Michelle Boorstein
Washington Post Staff Writers Thursday, February 3, 2011; 12:37 PM
President Obama called his Christian faith "a sustaining force" in his life in an unusual speech Thursday at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, where he acknowledged persistent questions about his religion and offered perhaps his most detailed comments about his spiritual beliefs and practices.
Obama, who has faced a persistent number of Americans who mistakenly believe that he is a Muslim as well as questions about why he only occasionally attends church, described how he "came to know Jesus Christ for myself and embrace him as my Lord and savior."
He acknowledged questions about his faith.
"My Christian faith, then, has been a sustaining force for me over these last few years, all the more so when Michelle and I hear our faith questioned from time to time," he said to a crowd of about 4,000 at the Washington Hilton hotel. "We are reminded that ultimately what matters is not what other people say about us, but whether we're being true to our conscience and true to our God. 'Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you, as well.' "