Tuesday, August 26, 2008
YES, I'M ALIVE
I haven't blogged in awhile because they just put out a new policy at work that we can't update our blogs at work. We can't do anything blog-related, like leave comments or view them. But I'm bucking the system right now just to let y'all know I'm doing ok. Just ok. I've always considered myself an honest person, especially where feelings are concerned. People say they want honesty, but oftentimes, they don't. They just want to hear that everything is awesome. Well, for me, it's not. It's very difficult to be off my anti-depressants. I have more sad days than glad. I am out of control of my body and my emotions. I have many, many fears about having a baby and sustaining him/her financially. Yes, I wanted this. I can be happy that I'm expecting, and yet still be worried. I try to "give my burdens to the Lord" but it's not always that easy. It's just a hard time right now. Not bad - just hard. Have you been there before? I imagine you have because I think it's part of life, these ups and downs. Through it all, God is God and He will not leave me. That is the basis for my getting up everyday.
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6 comments:
I HAVE been there & I understand & acknowledge your turmoil. I've struggled financially almost my whole life. With children your worries naturally double. You keep your eyes on the prize & God will provide... through His wisdom & through Greg & through yourself. What you're going through is felt by many expectant parents so if you didn't feel that way....well then I would be more worried. Keep praying & give yourself the time you need to make the necessary changes in your life. You're a wise & resourceful woman who possesses more answers than maybe you realize right now. God bless you DDD. I love you. xo
Hezzzy is absolutely right. Even to this day Dan and I still worry about finances, decisions we have made or will need to make etc... As a parent you never stop worrying. It is God's Grace and faith in him that you need to rely on. Give it to God, give him your worries. I love you Char. I'll be praying for you.
I've been there too, Char. There's not much more I can add to the last two sweet comments. It's just great to read a post from you...I was getting worried! I know it can be a real trip to go off of anti-depressants. But you're already showing what a great mom you are - sacrificing them just in case they aren't good for the baby. Welcome to motherhood - sometimes it sucks (!) but once that baby arrives, there are many moments of wonderfulness that do outweigh the bad. Hang in there, friend!
My dear Charby, I am sorry for the turmoil you are feeling. Life really is a roller coaster. Sometimes we get to stay on the straight even part of the track, other times the up's and down's come fast and furious. We live in a crazy sinful world and there are no guarantee's~Only Gods love and faithfulness. He is our only guarantee and strength. I am increasingly aware of how hard life is getting for everyone. My friend Julie just found out her husband is filled with bone cancer. She is devistated beyond belief, but is still confident God walks with her. She is just weary of her complicated life and ready for Jesus to come and take us all home. A good thing to focus on for all those who believe. I love you sister. AJ
If you ever want to talk I am a good listener! I am on all sorts of 'mood stabilizers' so I can be of some assistance, I can't IMAGINE going off them. You WILL get through this. A very good friend of mine is going through the same thing, no anti-funk pills, but she is due this week. We could do lunch one day? Might be fun, creative hanging with a classified... ;)
If you ever want to talk I am a good listener! I am on all sorts of 'mood stabilizers' so I can be of some assistance, I can't IMAGINE going off them. You WILL get through this. A very good friend of mine is going through the same thing, no anti-funk pills, but she is due this week. We could do lunch one day? Might be fun, creative hanging with a classified... ;)
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